NIAW

I've developed a post for Facebook about National Infertility Awareness Week that I'm planning on sharing later in the day. I'm a bit nervous about it since it addresses the controversy of Pregnancy after infertility and the guilt that comes with it. This is what I wrote:

April 19-25 is National Infertility Awareness Week. 1 in 8 couples suffer from infertility. What is infertility? It is a medical condition defined as 1 year of consistent unprotected and timed intercourse not resulting in a pregnancy for a couple under the age of 35 (6 months for a couple over 35). It is caused by many different factors that can be based on a man’s health, a woman’s, a combination of both or have no known cause. Infertility can also be defined as secondary infertility where a couple already has children, but struggle with conceiving a sibling, or in the case of recurrent losses (3 or more).

As I have posted before Steve and I have suffered through infertility. One particular thing that is not talked about often is the emotions and potential consequences after pregnancy is achieved. Pregnancy, adoption, even parenthood, is not a cure for infertility. While infertility does not define us, it also does not change or go away and will always affect us on some level. There are stories and cases of those who have no problems conceiving after their first was a struggle, but they are interesting cases because they are not that common.

The fact of the matter is infertility is not just a physical issue, it is an emotional one. The feelings of anxiety never leave even after pregnancy or parenthood has been achieved. It’s not easy being pregnant after going through struggles. The anxiety is heightened, for some (including myself) it’s hard to get excited because the fear of something going wrong. There are also issues with guilt when you know people who still struggle and you don’t want them to hurt knowing how they feel when they see you or your updates. It’s also knowing that when we decide to have another child it will most likely not be an easy road.

One very important thing to keep in mind if you know and love someone who is going through infertility is to be careful with what you say. Many hurtful things have been said to us, even though we know that they were not meant maliciously. This article right here does address these things, why they are hurtful and what can be said instead. Thank you for your time.http://www.resolve.org/support/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html

A bit TL;DR, but there's just so much to say that needs to be said. No one should have to hide in the dark.